Stress. Basically it’s bad. Adrenalin sucks. The negative health consequences of stress are well known and documented.
I know this. But I can still feel myself holding on. There is something about stress that I love. Something I struggle to let go. Stress, or at least its euphemistic cousin busyness, is the new black. Ask 100 people how they are doing, and ‘busy’ is just as common an answer as ‘pretty good’ or ‘fine.’ ‘Pretty good’ and ‘fine’ basically mean I don’t really want too talk about it; but ‘busy’ really is an invitation to ask. Ask, and then comes the epic story of struggle and woe. Soldiers telling proud battle tales. Wounds not wounds, but badges of pride. The busyness, the struggle; it’s martyrdom and at the same time it is storytelling. Some of those stories are great; but some of these stories are mountains that are not really mountains, but hills seen from the vantage point of a child. But even those stories, are still somehow endearing, because those stories are built on other stories. Like ill-fitting clothing hanging over a beautiful form, you can catch still catch a glimmer of what lies underneath. Even bad stories and sad dramas remind you of good stories. Other stories. Stories that are great. Stories where heroes overcome great obstacles to achieve good. Stories that leave me feeling as though I too, can conquer the world. All good stories have struggle; all great stories have more struggle. At its essence, my life, is a story that I am telling right now. Thus the logic follows: if I want my life to be a great story – I must struggle. In some sense, it feels like I must choose between the health and ease of some hypothetical stress-free life and the power of overcoming stressful events to achieve something beyond the edge of what’s been done. Reflecting on this subject over the past few weeks I have come to the conclusion that stress, like most things, is a matter of balance.
On one hand there are times where I am manufacturing stress in my mind out of nothing; making mountains out of molehills. I have to remember to ask myself: what if I win and the true story was that it was easy? Not that I struggled and persevered and overcame all odds. But instead, that I diligently and consistently followed a plan, and then gracefully corrected my course as needed. What if it were a pleasant journey? Smooth sailing. It may not make for an epic story, but it really feels like a wonderful life. I am so tired of all the struggle. But I am also afraid of the truth. If I give myself the power to end this struggle: I must first accept that I have created this struggle in the first place; that I have caused my own suffering. Worse, what if my life already is all of the things that I have been struggling for. What if the fulfillment that I have been chasing on the other side of that goal or dream is really already here; right in my face all along. But I have been so busy looking for suffering, that I have failed to see the ease that already exists. Beautiful things are happening all around me all the time but I cannot see them; blinded my own thumbs. What if I already have everything I need but I cant see that its there because my vision is blocked by my fear that it is not. In a lot of ways I can simply let go of some of those trivial stresses in my life. Below is a link to a poem that really inspires me to do so.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPU3t-x3Vz4
But then on the other hand, there are those important stresses. The other legitimate ones that come from the moments that I am pushing the boundaries and testing the limits. It is those stresses, born out of striving, that I really struggle to let go. So much of my identity is centered around achieving and to let go of struggle can at times feel like letting go of success. If I imaging myself living a life totally devoid of stress, it is also hard to imagine myself doing great things and chasing my dreams. However I recently came across a brilliant TED talk that brilliantly illustrated that it is not so much stress, but how you approach stress that makes it bad for you, and that some contexts stress may, in fact, be good for you. This video was a powerful illumination for me about how to use stress to my advantage.
http://www.ted.com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_make_stress_your_friend.html
So after mulling it over, I have ultimately come to the conclusion that my battle with stress is two fold. On one side I need to learn to let go of the stresses that are artificial and unnecessary. But on the other side I need to take the stresses that are important as challenges rather than obstacles, for those stresses will make me stronger. Hopefully I can find that sweet spot somewhere between striving and ease.
I know this. But I can still feel myself holding on. There is something about stress that I love. Something I struggle to let go. Stress, or at least its euphemistic cousin busyness, is the new black. Ask 100 people how they are doing, and ‘busy’ is just as common an answer as ‘pretty good’ or ‘fine.’ ‘Pretty good’ and ‘fine’ basically mean I don’t really want too talk about it; but ‘busy’ really is an invitation to ask. Ask, and then comes the epic story of struggle and woe. Soldiers telling proud battle tales. Wounds not wounds, but badges of pride. The busyness, the struggle; it’s martyrdom and at the same time it is storytelling. Some of those stories are great; but some of these stories are mountains that are not really mountains, but hills seen from the vantage point of a child. But even those stories, are still somehow endearing, because those stories are built on other stories. Like ill-fitting clothing hanging over a beautiful form, you can catch still catch a glimmer of what lies underneath. Even bad stories and sad dramas remind you of good stories. Other stories. Stories that are great. Stories where heroes overcome great obstacles to achieve good. Stories that leave me feeling as though I too, can conquer the world. All good stories have struggle; all great stories have more struggle. At its essence, my life, is a story that I am telling right now. Thus the logic follows: if I want my life to be a great story – I must struggle. In some sense, it feels like I must choose between the health and ease of some hypothetical stress-free life and the power of overcoming stressful events to achieve something beyond the edge of what’s been done. Reflecting on this subject over the past few weeks I have come to the conclusion that stress, like most things, is a matter of balance.
On one hand there are times where I am manufacturing stress in my mind out of nothing; making mountains out of molehills. I have to remember to ask myself: what if I win and the true story was that it was easy? Not that I struggled and persevered and overcame all odds. But instead, that I diligently and consistently followed a plan, and then gracefully corrected my course as needed. What if it were a pleasant journey? Smooth sailing. It may not make for an epic story, but it really feels like a wonderful life. I am so tired of all the struggle. But I am also afraid of the truth. If I give myself the power to end this struggle: I must first accept that I have created this struggle in the first place; that I have caused my own suffering. Worse, what if my life already is all of the things that I have been struggling for. What if the fulfillment that I have been chasing on the other side of that goal or dream is really already here; right in my face all along. But I have been so busy looking for suffering, that I have failed to see the ease that already exists. Beautiful things are happening all around me all the time but I cannot see them; blinded my own thumbs. What if I already have everything I need but I cant see that its there because my vision is blocked by my fear that it is not. In a lot of ways I can simply let go of some of those trivial stresses in my life. Below is a link to a poem that really inspires me to do so.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPU3t-x3Vz4
But then on the other hand, there are those important stresses. The other legitimate ones that come from the moments that I am pushing the boundaries and testing the limits. It is those stresses, born out of striving, that I really struggle to let go. So much of my identity is centered around achieving and to let go of struggle can at times feel like letting go of success. If I imaging myself living a life totally devoid of stress, it is also hard to imagine myself doing great things and chasing my dreams. However I recently came across a brilliant TED talk that brilliantly illustrated that it is not so much stress, but how you approach stress that makes it bad for you, and that some contexts stress may, in fact, be good for you. This video was a powerful illumination for me about how to use stress to my advantage.
http://www.ted.com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_make_stress_your_friend.html
So after mulling it over, I have ultimately come to the conclusion that my battle with stress is two fold. On one side I need to learn to let go of the stresses that are artificial and unnecessary. But on the other side I need to take the stresses that are important as challenges rather than obstacles, for those stresses will make me stronger. Hopefully I can find that sweet spot somewhere between striving and ease.